How I Train Myself Not To Take Things To Heart : And How You Can Do The Same
Do you ever find yourself taking things to heart? Do you feel hurt or offended by every little thing people say or do? If so, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle with this, and it can be a real burden on our mental health and relationships. However, with some practice and a few strategies, you can train yourself not to take things too seriously.
First, let’s define what it means to take things to heart.
Essentially, it’s when we internalize and personalize the actions or words of others, allowing them to affect our emotions and self-esteem.
For example, if someone makes a negative comment about your appearance or work, you may feel hurt or insecure, even if their comment was meant as a joke or not directed specifically at you.
When people treat you poorly or disrespectfully, it is easy to take their actions personally, to blame yourself, and to believe you have everything to do with their behavior. Taking things personally is emotionally draining, and it forces you to constantly reevaluate your self-esteem.
There is a distinction between being reflective and constantly taking slights personally; one is productive and promotes self-improvement, while the other is the polar opposite. You have more control over how you respond, your emotions, and your energy level if you don’t take things personally.
Now, why do we do this? It’s natural to want to be liked and respected by others, and when we feel criticized or rejected, it can be hard not to take it personally. However, when we take things to heart too often, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and strained relationships.
Here are a few ways to stop taking things too personally:
1.Stop Worrying About What Other People think.
At the end of the day, no one cares what other people think of you or anything else. You should only be concerned with what you think of yourself and what the people you know who love and care about you think of you. Strangers and acquaintances offering their thoughts on you have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. The sooner you stop caring what other people think, the more liberated you will feel and the more self-aware you will be.
2.Practice self-awareness.
Pay attention to how you react to criticism or negative comments. Are you quick to feel hurt or defensive? Do you dwell on the comments long after the conversation is over? Recognizing these patterns can help you take a step back and evaluate the situation more objectively. Taking care of your mental and emotional well-being can help you build resilience and prevent you from taking things to heart. Take time to do things that make you happy and help you relax, like taking a bubble bath, reading a book, or going for a walk.
Get help in developing self-awareness, clarifying the path forward, and free yourself from negative emotions, beliefs and stories that limit you.
This is an affiliate link . as an affiliate, I may earn commissions from qualifying purchases made through it. However, please note that this does not affect the price you pay and I only recommend products or services that I believe will add value to my audience. Thank you for your support
3.Put things in perspective.
Ask yourself~ Is this criticism or comment really about me, or is it more about the other person’s perspective or mood? Is it worth getting upset over, or is it something I can let go? Sometimes, simply reframing the situation can help you feel less emotional about it.
Tell you what,I found some research done on Psychology Today, saying when people pass judgment or make criticisms about you, it is rarely about you. In fact, it’s almost always about them, their problems, their wants, and their desire to exert control over you and/or a situation.
4.Develop a sense of humor
Humor can be a great tool for defusing tense situations and helping you not take things too seriously. Of course, it’s important to use humor in a way that’s appropriate and respectful, but finding ways to laugh at yourself and the situation can help you feel more lighthearted.
5.Build up your self-esteem
When we feel good about ourselves and our abilities, we’re less likely to take negative comments to heart.You won’t believe what other people think or say about you if you know who you are and like who you are. Having self-confidence, and knowing your self-worth is the foundation on which everything else is built: your achievements, your relationships, your ability to keep going when life and work gets tough. The best work you will put in is to work on your self-confidence and self-worth.
Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, and remind yourself of them when you’re feeling down.
6.Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully engaged in the moment, without judgment or distraction. When we’re mindful, we’re less likely to get caught up in negative thoughts or emotions. Try incorporating mindfulness practices like meditation or deep breathing into your daily routine.
Lastly learn to Let things go.
Consider painful experiences to be lessons in how to be stronger and better navigate difficult situations. Do not let them make you angry or bitter; instead, use them to better yourself and move on. I realized that holding on to pain hurts you more than it hurts the other person. So learn to let go and make more space for joy and happiness.
Some of these tips are according to my own experience and what I’ve seen with some of my friends, and some are from the research that l did. They may work or not work for you, always reach out to professionals for deeper help.
OK! Let us now bring some humor into this sensitive topic. Consider the following scenario: You’re at a family gathering when your aunt comments, "Wow, you’ve put on some weight since I last saw you!" 😅You could be angry and defensive, or you could respond with humour. "Yep, I’m having the time of my life and eating all the good food," you say with a smile. Your aunt may be taken aback, but you’ll have handled the situation and proved that you’re not taking her remark personally.👌
Now let’s take a closer psychological look at why we do this.
- Negative self talk. We might constantly tell ourselves we’re not good enough or it’s always our fault. So, in the face of ugly comments, we’ll easily believe negative things said about us.
- Childhood trauma. Lack of emotional support in childhood and being blamed as a child by parents can contribute to our feelings that we deserve to be mocked or humiliated.
- Poor self-esteem. People with low self-esteem sometimes worry too much about what others think. They may very well take things too personally.
- Anxiety disorders. Those who have social anxiety are extremely afraid of being judged and embarrassed.
- Perfectionism. Perfectionists have a hard time when others talk about their flaws as they have unrealistic standards about what they should be.
- Stress or fatigue. When you’re not in the best mood, you may be more prone to misinterpreting someone’s comments.
- Emotional sensitivity. If you’re a highly sensitive person, you may take things more personally.
Whatever the reason might be, always go back to self reflection.
My take away is , taking things to heart is a common struggle, but it doesn’t have to control our emotions and relationships. By practicing self-awareness, perspective-taking, humor, self-esteem building, and mindfulness, we can train ourselves to be more resilient and less affected by the words and actions of others. Remember, it’s not about ignoring criticism or pretending it doesn’t hurt, but rather finding a healthier way to process and respond to it.❤️✌️
